Faking It Read online

  Glancing up, she was startled by the sight of Alison staring at her from the garden, a puzzled look upon her face. “Are you ok?” she mouthed.

  Megan smiled and nodded, before turning away and heading for the bedroom. She’d better get packing if she was going to get there by nine. She heard Alison’s light footsteps behind her as she zipped her case closed.

  “I’m gonna miss you so much, Megs.”

  Megan pulled the case off the bed, turned and rested it on the floor. She saw the sadness in Alison’s eyes and for a brief second wished she could just be enough for her.

  “Me too.” She smiled.

  “So, any idea when you’ll be flying back?”

  “Not exactly. I’ve got a pretty busy schedule for quite a while; we have a few cabin crew off sick. I’ll be able to tell you exactly when the rosters are drawn up. They can be so slack sometimes.”

  Alison smiled, wrapping her arms around Megan’s waist. “Perhaps we can meet you in London at some point and do some Christmas shopping?”

  “Yes, maybe. I’ll see what I can do.”

  “You don’t want to?” she asked, pouting like a child.

  “Ali, of course I do. Christmas is bloody mayhem though. I don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep.”

  “But Kelly–”

  “–Oh, just stop it with the emotional blackmail Ali. I said I’ll see what I can do now leave it at that,” she said abruptly, removing Alison’s arms from her.

  “I don’t get you, Megan. I’m so understanding about your being away all the time. I rarely, if ever, put pressure on you and look how you’re behaving. This isn’t fair on Kelly and it isn’t fair on me. Don’t you think we have a right to spend time with you at Christmas? Is that so strange?”

  “You’re not my wife, Ali. We’re lovers. You don’t get to dictate how I spend some over-commercialised holiday. God, I hate Christmas,” Megan snapped. The phone calls from Brooke coupled with the current tension was just too much.

  “Even though it affects mine and my daughter’s life?”

  Alison let out a sigh and sat down on the bed.

  “I’m tired, Ali. Tired of all of the questioning, the demands.”

  “Demands? What do you think relationships are about – you coming and going as you please, uprooting my life as and when you see fit? No, Megan. That’s not cutting it with me. I’m not one of those desperate women who will put up with any old shit thrown at her because I’m scared to be alone. You should know by now that isn’t me. My daughter comes first and I will not tolerate anything that might hurt her. Simple.”

  Megan’s shoulders sagged as she held out her arms, beckoning Alison to sit beside her. By the look on Alison’s face, she realised she’d overstepped the line this time. The only way to win her over was to use Kelly as a carrot. “I know, I know and I’m sorry. I think the thought of leaving you both has got me on edge. I will try and sort something for Christmas, I promise. In fact, why don’t I book us some tickets for a children’s show? We can stay in a hotel for an extra treat.”

  Alison’s features softened as she looked down to the ground.

  “Oh, come on, Alison. I’m sorry. I really am. I will make it up to you.” Megan stood and walked over to her, tilting her head up with her hand to kiss her mouth. Feeling Alison press back with her own lips, Megan straightened up. “So, are we good? I don’t want to leave with any bad feelings.”

  Alison raised her eyes and managed a slight smile. “Yeah we’re good. But you need to watch how you talk to me. You can be so hurtful, Megan.”

  “I know, and I will watch it in future. So I’ll see you both as soon as I can, I promise.” Megan smiled, tilting her head.

  “Yep.”

  “Good. I’ll call you before I go to bed tonight.”

  “Is that promise?”

  “Yes,” she said kissing the tip of Alison’s nose. “And you know I’m true to my word.”

  Chapter Twenty

  A silver sign above a glass-fronted shop read “Discovering Books”. Brooke glanced up at the night sky as she felt the first patter of rain. Despite the threat of a downpour, she was glad she’d arranged to meet Danni outside. By the look of things, trying to find one another in the overcrowded book shop would have been like finding a needle in a haystack. Brooke crossed her arms over her chest. She was trying her hardest to treat the evening as nothing more than a casual meeting but her nerves were getting the better of her. Her stomach flipped and gyrated as if performing a less than graceful lambada to the soundtrack of the passing cars.

  Though her mind assured her that there was nothing inherently wrong with meeting Danni, her heart was telling her otherwise, as if privy to some secret confidence. Since being with Megan, Brooke had never so much as looked at another woman. Not a glance. Not even a peep. Brooke was just not the cheating kind, if there was ever such a type. She was clear on where she stood on the matter of infidelity – zero tolerance. So why was it that she couldn’t stop thinking about this woman? Why was she occupying her every thought, consuming every waking moment? Perhaps it was because she knew her relationship with Megan was faltering, taking its final sorry breaths.

  Breaking free from her inner dialogue, she caught sight of Danni across the busy street, artfully playing dodgems with the oncoming traffic. A few angry hoots later, Danni had safely negotiated the crossing, and was smiling proudly as if she had won a small victory over the rush-hour traffic. Unravelling her grey snood, she approached a nervous Brooke standing at the entrance.

  “I’m not late am I?” She smiled, a pair of cheery dimples breaking forth from each cheek.

  Brooke glanced down and pretended to consult her watch, being momentarily unable to hold Danni’s gaze. “No, not at all, I’ve only been here five minutes.”

  “Oh that’s good. I left my phone at home and had to go back for it.”

  Brooke smiled, discreetly eyeing her new friend from top to toe. She looked even better than she had at dinner – effortlessly stylish. Black jeans, ankle boots, and a black leather biker jacket. The understated chic look suited her.

  “Do you want to get a quick drink before we head up to the reading?” Brooke asked.

  “Oh, that sounds perfect.”

  “Good. After you.” Brooke gestured as she held open the bookshop’s heavy glass doors for her.

  The lower floor was buzzing with people chatting in groups near the shelves. A large picture of Michael Fitzgerald, white-toothed and clean-shaven, sat on a stack of hard-back books, giving information about the time of his reading.

  Brooke nodded towards the picture. “Have you read any of his work?”

  “A little. If I’m honest, I found his views on monogamy a little strange,” Danni responded with a frown.

  “I suppose so. He is seen as quite controversial. In the book he’s reading from tonight, he talks about why he believes monogamy is unrealistic.”

  “Does he now? Hmm, I’m not convinced.” Danni grinned. “Anyway, I’m an open-minded kind of girl; I’ll wait ‘til I hear what he has to say.”

  “Glad to hear it,” Brooke answered, weaving her way through the crowds to the small make-shift bar at the back.

  “So, what do you fancy?” Brooke asked, taking her purse from her leather satchel. She hoped it didn’t come across as a leading question.

  “Uhh, vodka cranberry please,” she answered. “Just a single please, I don’t want you getting me drunk now.” Danni smiled.

  Brooke raised her eyebrows. “I’ll try not to. You find us somewhere to sit and I’ll bring them over.” Eyeing an empty table, she pointed it out to Danni. “Look there’s one over there.”

  A few minutes later, Brooke laid the drinks down on the table. “There you go, one vodka cranberry.

  “Thanks,” Danni said as she put the glass to her lips and took a sip.

  “So, I have to say, if it wasn’t for your hair I would have hardly recognised you from the party or from dinner at Roy’s. You look really
different,” Brooke said as she sat down.

  Danni glanced around and toyed with her drink. “Ah well yes, I can explain,” she said, pausing to take another sip of her drink. “The skirt and high heels were Josh’s idea. It’s not really my thing. He thought it might impress his dad. You know what men are like.”

  Brooke laughed, amused by Danni’s explanation. No wonder Roy thought she was on edge. “Well it seems to have done the trick. Roy really likes you.”

  “He does? Oh good. I like him too. He seems quite a character.”

  “Yep, he can be pretty flamboyant. He’s firm but fair, and that’s what I like in a boss. So, about you and Josh. You said you hadn’t set a date yet, but are you planning on getting married anytime soon?”

  Danni scanned the room before settling her gaze back on Brooke. “No, not as yet. It could be years before we tie the knot. We aren’t in any rush. How about you? Are you married, in a relationship, none of the above?”

  Brooke smiled faintly, in a way that meant “it’s complicated”. For some reason she didn’t want to tell Danni she had a partner, but her innate honesty compelled her to.

  “Yes, I am in a relationship.”

  Danni raised her eyebrows. “Long term?”

  Brooke nodded. “If you call eight months long term, yes.”

  Danni looked at her quizzically and cocked her head. “I’m sensing you don’t really want to talk about this, am I right?”

  Brooke shrugged and smiled faintly. “You could say that. It’s just that we’re having a few issues at the moment.”

  “Oh, sorry to hear that. I hope it’s nothing serious.”

  “Not really. At least I hope not,” she said with resignation. “So, enough about my problems. How long have you and Josh been dating?”

  Danni shifted in her seat. “Um, let’s think now, um, a year I think. Yeah, a year.”

  “And you just knew he was the one?”

  Danni held her gaze. “You know I never used to believe in ‘the one’, but lately I’m beginning to think there is some truth in finding your soul mate. Even though you might not be able to be together, the connection is still there. Even if fate is against you.”

  Brooke sat transfixed. That’s exactly how she had felt when she first laid eyes on Danni. As much as she believed she loved Megan, she had never felt that omnipotent connection. She was hugely attracted to her, of course, but nothing more. “It sounds sad – to have a soul mate you can’t be with, I mean.”

  Danni looked at her with a heavy, thoughtful expression. “Heartbreaking even,” she added softly, smiling.

  Brooke felt as if Danni could see into her soul, read her thoughts even. “Anyway,” she said, breaking the spell, “Tell me about your book. How is it coming along?”

  Danni leaned back in her chair. “Good thanks. I’m actually surprised at how much I’m enjoying writing it.”

  “I’ve always wanted to be a writer,” Brooke said, playing with her hair.

  “Really? Why aren’t you then?”

  Brooke thought about it for a few seconds before answering. “If I’m honest, I really don’t know. I’ve just never had the headspace to do it. Perhaps that’s just an excuse. Maybe, I’m just not cut out to be one. I really love working with new writers, helping them develop their style. But maybe one day,” she said pensively. “So, how long have you been writing for?”

  “For as long as I can remember. Even when I was a kid, I had a fascination with words. I used to read the dictionary – how weird is that? No, I just love the power of words, how they can make you feel. I love how they can inspire people, empower them. Change lives even. Sounds really corny I know.” Danni blushed slightly

  “No, it doesn’t.” Brooke smiled reassuringly.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, the Michael Fitzgerald reading will commence in five minutes. Kindly take your seats.” The bookstore announcement shattered the moment. For once, Brooke didn’t want to go upstairs and enter into someone else’s world. She wanted to stay there, in her own with Danni.

  Neither of the women moved, it was as if they had not heard the perfectly clear announcement that boomed through the air. Even the sound of screeching chairs as people stood up and walked from the bar area had little impact. Instead, they continued their conversation about the joys of literature, their favourite authors, books that had changed the way they saw the world. With every word, Brooke felt herself being drawn further to her companion. She was energising, full of wild excitement. She sat wide-eyed and smiling, drinking in every word as though she was afraid Danni might suddenly stop speaking upon realising the reading was about to start.

  This new-found rebellious streak was a novelty for Brooke. She was not the type to act in a way that might be deemed unprofessional. Ever. Even as a giggling schoolgirl, she had politely declined her friend’s numerous appeals to play truant. But for once in her life, for this one special time, she wanted to do what she wanted and it felt good. Bloody good.

  Looking around the near empty bar, Brooke knew she had to react. “Everyone has gone! Oh shit – we’ve missed the reading.”

  “Oh no. Sorry, it was my fault. Me talking too much as usual,” Danni answered.

  “No, don’t be silly.”

  “Anyway,” Danni grinned, “it would be a shame to rush off.” Danni stood up and picked up their glasses. “Same again?”

  “Why not.” Brook smiled, lowering her head to hide her obvious happiness over the offer. Danni headed to the bar, leaving Brooke to ponder the situation. Was she playing with fire, starting a friendship with such an attractive straight woman – especially one she had feelings for? She quelled her fears, taking solace in the fact that Danni was straight, and therefore no real danger. She dreaded to think what would happen if that wasn’t the case. Let’s not even go there. Danni is not gay, so there’s no problem. Relax.

  She glanced up as Danni placed the Pinot Grigio in front of her.

  “There you go. Bottoms up.” She laughed. “What does that even mean, anyway?”

  They laughed and clinked glasses.

  Brooke felt the buzz of her mobile vibrating in her pocket. She was pretty sure who it was but for the first time in an age she didn’t want to speak to her. As astonishing as it seemed, she just didn’t want anything to ruin her night. It wasn’t about being sneaky or underhanded, she simply wanted to enjoy the best evening she’d had in ages without Megan ruining it.

  She ignored the buzz and attempted to concentrate on Danni’s words – something about Brooke’s job – but all she could do was stare at her lips, plump and red. Her concentration had gone.

  What did Megan want? Brooke had been trying to get hold of her all day to find out what time she’d arrive back in London tomorrow and she hadn’t bothered to reply, so why now of all times had she decided to call? The phone began to vibrate again and her compulsion to do “the right thing” took hold. Resigned to the interruption, she smiled apologetically at Danni.

  “I’m so sorry to interrupt, Danni, but I really have to take this.”

  “No problem. Take your time, I was just warbling on anyway,” Danni said grinning.

  Brooke let out a sigh before sliding the screen to accept the call.

  “Hello?”

  “It’s me. I called you a minute ago.” It was Megan and she wasn’t sounding very friendly.

  Brooke rose from the table, signalling to Danni that she wouldn’t be a minute and headed to the ladies. Once inside, she rolled her eyes and leaned back against the basin as if anticipating the upcoming discord.

  “And I’ve been trying to get you all day but that doesn’t seem to matter to you, Megan.”

  “I was in the air, Brooke. I’ve arrived back a day early. Anyway, where are you?”

  “I’m–” Brooke answered, immediately being cut off.

  “–Look I haven’t got much time, I’m getting on the train in 10 minutes. Can you pick me up? The queue for cabs is always a nightmare.”

  “Tonight? Wh
at time?”

  “In an hour.”

  “Uh, you are aware that I actually have a life too and I can’t just drop everything?”

  “Have we got to argue about everything, Brooke? For once, can’t you just do as I ask without the fucking drama!”

  “There’s no drama here. The fact is, you’re a grown woman, make your own fucking way.”

  Before Megan could utter another word, Brooke pressed the end button.

  Within seconds the phone was buzzing again. Her resolve fading, Brooke reluctantly answered the call.

  Megan’s voice held a ragged edge of hysteria. “I hope to hell you didn’t just hang up on me?”

  Brooke inhaled. “No, I think the reception’s bad.”

  “Where did you say you were?”

  Brooke closed her eyes. “I didn’t. But I’m at a, a book reading.”

  “Oh, with who?”

  “What?”

  “I said who are you with?”

  She said the first name that popped into her head. She didn’t know why but she didn’t want to say Danni’s name in case Megan’s super senses picked something up in her voice. “Ethan.”

  “Oh really? Put him on the phone.”

  The hand she held the phone in began to tremble. “What, why?”

  Megan gave a brittle laugh. “Brooke, I know when you’re telling porkies. You’re a terrible liar.”

  “I’m not lying, I’m with Ethan and I’m in the toilets and even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t put him on the phone, I wouldn’t embarrass myself.”

  “Whatever. Do what you like. Look, just be at the station in an hour.”

  The line went dead. Brooke slipped the phone back into her pocket and cupped her head in her hands. How much longer was she going to be able to put up with this? She could feel her self-worth being chipped away with every interaction with Megan.

  She dropped her hands to her side as she heard the door squeak open. Danni appeared in the threshold.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yes, everything’s fine.”